Things That Hurt The Most

How not to write a goodbye letter.
This is a letter to my ex girlfriend... I am afraid, everything about her hurts so much. The week after we broke up I was catatonic and it took me 5 entire seasons of Bing Bang Theory to get over it... And still here I am one month after, the hurt is as real as the first day.
I thought that writing the letter on my blog would help...

Hello Elle,

       I thought for so long if I should or shouldn’t replay to your messages. Even now that I am writing I don’t know if I will ever send you this letter. Every time I read one of your messages my emotions burst into a mixture of sadness and happiness.

       As I write this letter I realize that I can’t express myself the way I would like to. Nourishing sentiments for someone makes it really hard to write something from the heart so I will stop analysing me, you or our relation.

       But if I were to analyse without emotions I would circle out all the words that have sexual reference and I would understand that this is not a love letter nor a good bye letter… it’s just an acknowledgement of the fact that I miss our 'sexual life'. I miss the days when you used to do anything for me… Why did you refuse to do the thing I needed the most?! Why didn’t you not trust me boundlessly?

       If you’re wondering why I didn’t replay to any of your messages…
       Well, You have no idea how much I wanted to replay… But every time I ended up thinking that: I showed you my best part, I tried my best in everything while I was with you… and still it was not enough. Every time I think of you it reminds me that I was not enough for you. How could I ever speak to you again? I can’t…
       So you might be asking … ‘Why are you writing now?’ The answer is that no matter how hurt I am I can’t stop thinking of you… Every single day I see your smile… I see your wavy hair… I hear your cheering voice… I remember everything.
       I want to forget everything and you have to help me…

       All I ask of you is to forget about me and set me free… be happy with someone else and let me be happy. Please don't replay to this message and don't write me again.

       Tell Doraemon we don’t need his cap anymore.

- A. Dreamer

For not wanting to write about our relation i sure used 'you' 'I' and 'us' a lot of times.
You : 24
I : 39
Us : 2 (?)

The whole purpose was to write something that would help me get over it... and I feel a bit of relief.