¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪ Melody : Torn

I thought I saw a man brought to life
He was warm, he came around like he was dignified
He showed me what it was to cry
Well you couldnt be that man I adored
You don't seem to know, don't seem to care what your heart is for
But I don't know him anymore
There's nothing where he used to lie
My conversation has run dry
That's what's going on, nothings fine Im torn

Im all out of faith, this is how I feel
Im cold and I am shamed lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed into something real
Im wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn
Youre a little late, Im already torn

So I guess the fortune tellers right
Should have seen just what was there and not some holy light
To crawl beneath my veins and now
I don't care, I have no luck, I don't miss it all that much
There's just so many things that I can't touch, Im torn

Im all out of faith, this is how I feel
Im cold and I am shamed lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed into something real
Im wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn
Youre a little late, Im already torn. torn.

There's nothing where he used to lie
My inspiration has run dry
That's what's going on, nothings right, Im torn

Im all out of faith, this is how I feel
Im cold and I am shamed lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed into something real
Im wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn
Im all out of faith, this is how I feel
Im cold and Im ashamed bound and broken on the floor
Youre a little late, Im already torn

--Natalie Imbruglia - Torn

Had an Awesome Day

Finally I had one awesome day! Everything seemed to fit perfectly. I cheer to 100.000 of these days. Hope you had an awesome day yourself. Otherwise look forward into making tomorrow an awesome day.

Quotes *

For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone.

--Audrey Hepburn

For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.

--Judy Garland


Since my weekend was a bit busy I didn't have much time to dedicate to the blog. I will find time soon enough!

The Longest Journey

I felt like Anouk in the movie Chocolat. My mother was bound to change places every time the wind of the North came to town and I had to change with her. She is my fortress and my deepest weakness.

Change is not easy, most of the time it requires will and a lot of hard work. People you knew and trust are no longer near you. It's only my mother, me and my destiny.

With these changes comes a deep sense of loneliness and today was no different from the past days. Discomfort was a constant feeling and my thoughts were clouded by the pain brought by solitude.

I went for a walk around the lake thinking that everyone has been in this situation at least once in their life. I was counting the things that I had and lost until I just raised my head to gaze at the sky and in a moment... Everything was clear.

When did hard work ever stopped me from being happy? Every star in the sky was a metaphor for another place to see and visit... Life is nothing if not a journey.

I had to hold on to that feeling.

--A. Dreamer

Seeking My...

if i was perfect why would i choose you?
and if you were perfect why would u choose me?

I choose you because you are the thing that makes me perfect.

hei you!

*

  I don't think you're fucked up
  I think you feel that way, but you have one of the nicest, sincerest and purest hearts
  A lot of people miss out on real feelings of love by replacing them with things
  Please don't ever think you ability to love so strongly is a character flaw

--Jay V.

Saturday Night Thoughts

       Time ago I was watching Numb3rs and I was impressed by what Charlie (the main actor) said. "These are the most productive years of my life. And what have I done with them? " Well I ask myself the same question and I can’t come up with a good answer. I see and saw myself as the guy that has to prove everyone that they are wrong.

       Starting off saying that you have to prove something, puts yourself in a weak spot… Lebron James in this year’s speech after winning the title said: " I was wrong last year, I don’t have to prove anything to anyone. I know who I am and I just have to play with that confidence". He could have said... you are all a bunch of idiots, I was right and I won the title, instead he acknowledged the fact that he was wrong in the past and that he had the guts to move on after last year’s loss.

       Bottom line is that I have been pressuring myself for results for… all my life now. I am confident that what I do is most of the times right and if results don’t come I have to try again: harder and better. I know that they are all wrong, they don’t know my heart.

       Don’t have a good job / Don’t like your job? Keep on seeking until you find the one you like
Don’t have a girlfriend / Don’t like your girlfriend? Keep on seeking until you find the one you like

       There is no man alive that has never fallen. The only difference is that some get up and some don’t. You only fail when you stop trying. Keep on doing what you’re doing and do it better. If the plan is not perfect, rethink it faithfully that there is a good answer to your questions.

--A. Dreamer

p.s. When life gives you lemons… make lemonade

¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪ Melody : La Fine

It's not yet Monday but I had to share this awesome song.
I should have highlighted the whole song. His words are my thoughts...

Chiedo scusa a chi ho tradito,
e affanculo ogni nemico
Che io vinca o che io perda
è sempre la stessa merda

E non importa quanta gente ho visto, quanta ne ho conosciuta
Questa vita ha conquistato me e io l'ho conquistata
'Questa vita' ha detto mia madre 'figlio mio va vissuta,
Questa vita non guarda in faccia
e in faccia al massimo sputa'

Io mi pulisco e basta con la manica della mia giacca
E quando qualcuno ti schiaccia
devi essere il primo che attacca.
Non ce l'ho mai fatta, ho sempre incassato,
E sempre incazzato, fino a perdere il fiato

Arriverà la fine, ma non sarà la fine
E come ogni volta ad aspettare e fare mille file
Con il tuo numero in mano
e su di te un primo piano
Come un bel film che purtroppo non guarderà nessuno.

Io non lo so chi sono e mi spaventa scoprirlo,
Guardo il mio volto allo specchio
ma non saprei disegnarlo
Come ti parlo, parlo da sempre della mia stessa vita,
Non posso rifarlo e raccontarlo è una gran fatica.

Vorrei che fosse oggi, in un attimo già domani
Per reiniziare, per stravolgere tutti i miei piani,
Perchè sarà migliore e io sarò migliore
Come un bel film che lascia tutti senza parole.

Vorrei che fosse oggi, in un attimo già domani
Per reiniziare, per stravolgere tutti i miei piani,
Perchè sarà migliore e io sarò migliore
Come un bel film che lascia tutti senza parole.

Non mi sembra vero e non lo è mai sembrato
Facile, dolce perchè amaro come il passato
Tutto questo mi ha cambiato
E mi son fatto rubare forse gli anni migliori
Dalle mie paranoie e dai mille errori
Sono strano lo ammetto, e conto più di un difetto
Ma qualcuno lassù mi ha guardato e mi ha detto:
'Io ti salvo stavolta, come l'ultima volta'.

Quante ne vorrei fare ma poi rimango fermo,
Guardo la vita in foto e già è arrivato un altro inverno,
Non cambio mai su questo mai, distruggo tutto sempre,
Se vi ho deluso chieder scusa non servirà a niente.

Vorrei che fosse oggi, in un attimo già domani
Per reiniziare, per stravolgere tutti i miei piani,
Perchè sarà migliore e io sarò migliore
Come un bel film che lascia tutti senza parole.

Vorrei che fosse oggi, in un attimo già domani
Per reiniziare, per stravolgere tutti i miei piani,
Perchè sarà migliore e io sarò migliore
Come un bel film che lascia tutti senza parole

...in un attimo già domani
Per reiniziare, per stravolgere tutti i miei piani,
Perchè sarà migliore e io sarò migliore
Come un bel film che lascia tutti senza parole.

--Tiziano Ferro - La Fine

The F*cked-up Prince [ Chapter 3 ]

       I am not sure how all of this started, most likely with a joke or a laugh. What I do remember thou is her name, her face and her embarrassment all because of me.

       She was Gabriela, black mossy hair dark eyes and skin white like milk. I have this picture of her in my mind: she was sitting at her desk, first row on the left just one step away from the teaching post. Her big eyes gazing at me in distress. She didn’t say anything but she didn’t have to. Her steady lips would never tell that her soul was weeping.

       There were more than forty people in that classroom and none of them said a word.

       I was young and immature before that I had never been hurt. I didn’t know what it felt to have your heart shattered in thousands of pieces.

       Like my mother used to say: people are afraid that someone might do to them what they do to others. A critic is afraid of being criticized, a thief is afraid of being robbed and for a more plastic example: a lover is very much afraid of being loved. Now all I am afraid of is having my heart broken in pieces.

       Little I knew about love back then and little I know even now. A friend told me that she was in love with me. And instead of being happy and nice to her … I just used it to my advantage asking her favours and when she denied my requests I just told her in front of everyone that I don’t love her and that I would never love her.

... to be continued

"Chapter 3 - How to Lift a Curse" ( part 1 )
--A. Dreamer

¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪ Melody : Welcome to My world

I've chosen a pretty awkward song for a blog that should tell about love and happy endings. Today I had a pretty hard day and this is the only song that could describe my inner-state right now. I'll try to find time to write another Chapter of my book.
Wish you all a very good week.

Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you
Do you ever wanna runaway?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more?
Before your life is over
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

No one ever lied straight to your face
No one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I'm happy but I'm not gonna be okay
Everybody always gave you what you wanted
Never had to work it was always there
You don't know what it's like, what it's like

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like (what it's like)

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life

--Welcome to my Life - Simple Plan

¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪ Melody : Love Story

I know.. This is totally a girly song and...
Wait I dont have to explain anything to anyone in here. I really love this song. I used to listen to it every day. Hope you enjoy it.

We were both young when I first saw you
I close my eyes
And the flashback starts
I'm standing there
On a balcony in summer air

See the lights
See the party, the ball gowns
I see you make your way through the crowd
And say hello, little did I know

That you were Romeo, you were throwing pebbles
And my daddy said stay away from Juliet
And I was crying on the staircase
Begging you please don't go, and I said

Romeo take me somewhere we can be alone
I'll be waiting all there's left to do is run
You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess
It's a love story baby just say yes

So I sneak out to the garden to see you
We keep quiet 'cause we're dead if they knew
So close your eyes
Escape this town for a little while

'Cause you were Romeo, I was a scarlet letter
And my daddy said stay away from Juliet
But you were everything to me
I was begging you please don't go and I said

Romeo take me somewhere we can be alone
I'll be waiting all there's left to do is run
You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess
It's a love story baby just say yes

Romeo save me, they try to tell me how to feel
This love is difficult, but it's real
Don't be afraid, we'll make it out of this mess
It's a love story baby just say yes
Oh oh

I got tired of waiting
Wondering if you were ever coming around
My faith in you is fading
When I met you on the outskirts of town, and I said

Romeo save me I've been feeling so alone
I keep waiting for you but you never come
Is this in my head? I don't know what to think
He knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring

And said, marry me Juliet
You'll never have to be alone
I love you and that's all I really know
I talked to your dad, go pick out a white dress
It's a love story baby just say yes

Oh, oh, oh, oh
'Cause we were both young when I first saw you

--Love Story - Taylor Swift

Things That Hurt The Most

How not to write a goodbye letter.
This is a letter to my ex girlfriend... I am afraid, everything about her hurts so much. The week after we broke up I was catatonic and it took me 5 entire seasons of Bing Bang Theory to get over it... And still here I am one month after, the hurt is as real as the first day.
I thought that writing the letter on my blog would help...

Hello Elle,

       I thought for so long if I should or shouldn’t replay to your messages. Even now that I am writing I don’t know if I will ever send you this letter. Every time I read one of your messages my emotions burst into a mixture of sadness and happiness.

       As I write this letter I realize that I can’t express myself the way I would like to. Nourishing sentiments for someone makes it really hard to write something from the heart so I will stop analysing me, you or our relation.

       But if I were to analyse without emotions I would circle out all the words that have sexual reference and I would understand that this is not a love letter nor a good bye letter… it’s just an acknowledgement of the fact that I miss our 'sexual life'. I miss the days when you used to do anything for me… Why did you refuse to do the thing I needed the most?! Why didn’t you not trust me boundlessly?

       If you’re wondering why I didn’t replay to any of your messages…
       Well, You have no idea how much I wanted to replay… But every time I ended up thinking that: I showed you my best part, I tried my best in everything while I was with you… and still it was not enough. Every time I think of you it reminds me that I was not enough for you. How could I ever speak to you again? I can’t…
       So you might be asking … ‘Why are you writing now?’ The answer is that no matter how hurt I am I can’t stop thinking of you… Every single day I see your smile… I see your wavy hair… I hear your cheering voice… I remember everything.
       I want to forget everything and you have to help me…

       All I ask of you is to forget about me and set me free… be happy with someone else and let me be happy. Please don't replay to this message and don't write me again.

       Tell Doraemon we don’t need his cap anymore.

- A. Dreamer

For not wanting to write about our relation i sure used 'you' 'I' and 'us' a lot of times.
You : 24
I : 39
Us : 2 (?)

The whole purpose was to write something that would help me get over it... and I feel a bit of relief.

Little *

If you are not too long, I will wait here for you all my life.

--Oscar Wilde